Hello everyone, its been a month since I last posted, sorry. Sometimes I feel I have covered everything here, then every day something new happens and I want to share it with you. I find myself needing to wait though, to ensure the anonymity of the people I look after.
Do take a moment to watch the film I posted by Briony Campbell. It is very moving, and in the spirit of Death Cafe , very relevant. People talking about death is a good thing. Hard. But good.
I was horrified when a family member asked to meet me a couple of weeks ago. It's not something I do very often as I am more of a 'back room staff' kind of girl. I have no formal training on meeting the families and I am never, ever dressed appropriately for it.
I telephoned and spoke to him and apologised for my jeans and t-shirt but would be happy to see them in an hour. He was so sad at the death of his father and wanted to go over a few things that he didn't want for him. One of those was embalming.
The funeral director had already explained that as various other family members wanted to see Dad, we encourage embalming. I expanded on this explaining that we want everyone to have the best experience they can, and embalming would ensure this for them. We both agreed that Dad needed to look peaceful and natural. We discussed hair washing, shaving, bathing and cleaning nails and the son explained that he had previously had a couple of experiences with chapel visits and they weren't good. ( Not with my company I hasten to add! )
He didn't want Dad to have swollen features, nor his teeth replaced as he never wore his dentures. Rather interestingly, Dad wasn't to be dressed in pyjamas, clothes or a gown either. Just a plain sheet. Wrapped like a towel out of the bath. Also, his hands weren't to touch as he had gripped them during his illness, whenever he was in pain.
We always want to help the families with their requests. No matter how different they are. I completely understood his feelings and everyone did their best to ensure every detail was perfect.
My embalming treatment was a subtle one. It felt odd not using any colourant, and not replacing teeth, but I managed to get a peaceful look none the less. Wrapping him in a clean white sheet and placing him in his coffin was easy enough, and the effect was actually quite clinical. Medical, healing even. Peaceful too.
Viewings occurred later that week, and from what I have been told, everyone was pleased to see him to say their goodbyes. The immediate family didn't come in, but I hope his son took comfort from knowing we carried out all his wishes, to the letter.
No comments:
Post a Comment